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Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

May 31st, 2011 (03:07 pm)

Life doesn't always work out the way we plan. Timelines, structure and routine can only account for so much. In reality, life is meant to be lived from day to day. I have yet to meet a person whose plan turned out they way that they always imagined. If I have learned anything it's that money, big houses and nice cars are not at all worth the years of work-a-holic attitudes that have been in place to get all of those THINGS. I am not impressed by things I am truly moved by people. The people that we create relationships with, relate to, and care for in a mutual sense are much more powerful then any material object.
The things that once surrounded me in my apartment for years have been dismantled as the physical place that I called home for my entire adult life is now just a shell. Just as our bodies become when we cease to exist. What remains is the spirit of the things we leave behind. The lives we touch, the people that walked through, the celebrations, the devastations, the all nighters, laughter, friendships, the butterflies and "I can't believe I"'s, the defeats, the goodbyes, the firsts, the " I don't know what to do's" the people, the people, the people.
This is life. Not what substance that dwells in your body, not what is on your body or around it but what is in your heart. And the only way to show your heart is to share it with others.

Though my plans have not worked out exactly, I am so grateful to have the experience of sharing with others parts and pieces of myself that I never would have had the opportunity to had I been in a different job or atmosphere.
I will continue to create these experiences and learn about the world and other cultures and people even here stateside until my departure for the Peace Corps which is now seeming like next year.
In this year I vow to continue learning about people, experiencing life in it's awesomeness and live peacefully.

Poetic Eyes [userpic]

another day at the cafe

January 16th, 2011 (04:41 pm)

Her legs. I envied her legs those thin long stork-like legs that’d look sexy as hell in anything she wore. Short, long tight baggy you name it and she could pull it off. Bottoms to any outfit were no match for her. I sighed and thought all of the problems would melt away if I didn’t have to wrestle myself into a simple pair of jeans. She slid right in. And her hair that blonde shimmering golden color natural the kind of perfect mix of highlights and low tones that people pay tons of money to have. Naturally spurting from her head. Air dried a perfect master piece. She turned slightly and I jumped back slightly. In all of the jealous “I wish I had’s” over that minute of starring I came to realize that the swan had no nose. I wondered if she even realized that people envied her. I wondered if she herself envied everyone else around.

Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

November 20th, 2010 (12:14 pm)

As my wisdom teeth begin to emerge
my breakouts are clearing
my taste buds seem to enjoy new things
like jasmin tea which once made me nauseous
and new allergies form
I feel a change at the time in my life where things seem to be more different then ever

I am an adult. Out of college working 40 hour weeks and feeling the stress of it
At night, I run or go to hot yoga to clear my head of the madness
and only for those hours of the day I can just be me
other evenings I find myself watching world news and falling asleep by 9
Many say welcome to adulthood
I respond by saying eh not my thing

I maintain that I can live poor if that means I can be happy with my "everydays"
and not wish for the weekend

Law school seems like something that I would want to do
but lately I feel that it would suit me better later
in a few years after I have learned how to truly live
not just for a a few months but I mean a lifestyle where everyday is fulfilling

As I came home from Hot Yoga last night I felt so good as if the 10 dollars that I spend each time I go, feels better then spending it on a bottle of wine, or a few drinks at the bar. We all crave the things that make us feel good and how we choose to embrace them is up to us.

Heres to a life of unknown adventures

Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

September 17th, 2010 (06:29 pm)

life is spectacular. not just my life. but all of life in general. the pleasures the disbeliefs the bounce backs. the complexities of the human existence.

Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

June 4th, 2010 (04:31 pm)

I haven't had much time to reflect on my college graduation. But thus far even in my everyday life i realize the value in an education... carrying on conversations, looking at the world, interaction in my everyday life. (finding a job is a whole other story). But more than anything my college experience has shaped me as a person in ways that I never imagined. Knowledge is irreplaceable. Habits of reading the news, thinking critically, investing in passion, serving communities and people are a few things that I am coming to know from my experience. College is what you make of it. You can take from it or leave from it what you choose. My best years were the past 2. Interning for the Obama campaign, Presenting at UC Berkley Conference, Working on community Service projects with Native American Youth, Mentoring Iraqi Refugees, coaching softball and learning in the classroom everything I could to take with me in community outreach. There are those that just go to class to get a piece of paper and those that let passion drive their lives and LIVE and LEARN together... and the degree falls into place. I have been lucky to have had the opportunities that I do and am excited where my life takes me next.

As for the Summer. I had visitors from all over. New Mexico is a VERY magical place. I don't mean it like disney I mean it is so rich in culture, history and pure natural beauity that I am falling in love.
White Sands and Carlsbad were breathtaking spring break.
More recently I have hiked the Jemez Mountains and to the natural hot springs tucked away in the moutntians, went treking in the river in a dress and river shoes, climbed the the petraglyfs and scaled rocks.

I have gone to the wine festival discovering the tons of local wines harvested and manufactured in the northen valley towns of New Mexico. (even red chili wine)

I vistited Chaco Canyon/Cultral Center. I walked through reuins from 800 a.d. Towns citites and villages remain and I got to sit the spiritual Kivas they once used.

I coached a softball team. and learned what res ball is. (Reservation softball) which is pretty much on a pick up field on the reservation imagine dust storms and grassy patches. I also met res dogs which means everyones dog on the reservation roams without a leash.

I road the Longnest Tramway in the world to the Top of the Sandia Mountains. It's a car on a cable that takes you up 3,000 feet up in 15 Min where you can see the city. 10,000 feet above sea level. We hiked the trails for hours.

I went on a date to hidden park. It was once a public park that homes got build around on all 4 sides. You have to cut through peoples side yards to get there. It's literally hidden then a Vast open green space still owned my the city. We got Marbel (local beer) watched the stars and munched on Oatmeal Raisin cookies.

life has been simply amazing.
All pretty much in my backyard.. hence why New Mexico it MAGICAL


Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

May 10th, 2010 (12:55 pm)

Fake the breaths
That exasperate the cause
find solace in taste
of bitter

Shrug slyly at the façade
Rippling tones of insignificance
grasping to the silence

ants in colonies
carrying papers overhead
to prove
often lacking character

to stretch
to skew
to swallow the gravity
plasticly molded
under universal law
connecting chords of disarray

the winds blow across
faces that don’t feel
hearts protected
by warmth that is cold

as the sun sets on another manufactured day

to breathe
intent into actions
feel alive with bouncing cells
where every taste touch and feeling
exaggerates itself
in sweet honey

that sticks
and stings

altercations of what is
and what should be
drawing lines in the sand
building castles
standing below to be part of it
to conquer is to deceive.

Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

April 23rd, 2010 (01:00 pm)

You all dont realize how you are changing my life.
Beautiful kind and strong.
To my Native American Community Academy kids, you are crazy and full of spirit

To my Iraqi family you are strong, giving and proud.

Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

April 8th, 2010 (12:16 pm)

I havent had time to be reflective,
I wish I did.

This semester has flown by
last night I went to a birthday party with the Iraqi refugee family that I mentor.
They invite me everywhere-- its sweet.

It's also draining.
They are beautiful people whose lives were destroyed by war.
i want to do so much for them through this advocacy program but there is only so much I can do. i listen. I listen to their stories time and time again but no one can repair the damage done. I help with english and college applicatons, I help them navigate medicaid and then heard this from the grandfather: I came to the US 3 months ago. The day after I met you (which was a week after I arrived in the US) I got sick. I went to the emergency room-- I had a heart attack and a hernia. They sent me home in a dangerous state because I had no insurance. I imagine that he hadn't signed up for medicaid yet. The man was wealthy and prosperous in his country, he wears and suit and is always proud. He lost his home and 2 cars in the war. His life savings is tied up in banks in Iraq. He showed me photos of his late wife. He says she died because of Bush. I ask if she was killed in the war. He said not from bombs but we couldnt get our medicines since the war. The war killed her he says.

They sung happy birthday in english and danced to a youtube song in arabic to celebrate the aunts birthday. she cried because her mother could not be there and had passed away. The kids screamed and played as if the world never stops. They know this without thinking... if only the adults didnt feel like time stands still. The time is stagnant because everything they knew and loved is gone.

Luckily when the bombs hit their cities in Iraq they didn't die but there neighbors did and everyone saw the streets lined with bodies of the innocent. The stores closed, businesses and shops closed, parks and community centers closed and life for those still living kinda stopped or stood still.

Here they say that bombs don't fall, but jobs don't come either. Here the culture is foreign and people stare and those in scarves. Here english is hard to learn and you have to pay for college. Here the food is quote "horrible" and spices we like are hard to find. Here we have greed cards but the government doesn't hear us. Here we pay taxes funding a war that destroyed our beloved country and our lives. I am learning english here but it takes time. I can not find a job to feed my wife and new baby.

one man said:
"I would rather have died in my home country then starve in the United States"

So now, with this knowledge what do we do? As americans as citizens of the world what do we do?
They said that given refugee status and greencards the government would help place them at jobs/ Refugees used to get 8 months of government assistance to get established in the US but now its just 4. They are not just immigrants but specially picked by the UN and US to be Refugees. We are failing the people whose country we destroyed.

after almost 6 months of haning out with them i have to step back and think.
How woud my life be different if war destroyed my beloved country?

Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

March 8th, 2010 (09:28 pm)

"we sat there looking at the pages of the strangers
they were in our minds until forever
we didn't mind
we we didn't know better
so we made our own computer out of macaroni pieces
and it did our thinking while we lived our lives
it counted up our feelings and divided them up even"

Poetic Eyes [userpic]

(no subject)

December 8th, 2009 (11:14 pm)

Today was hectic. I met with my refugee group and as I helped the woman fill out her disability claim form I had to know why it was denied the first time. So I just wanted a general why are you applying-- she told he one of the most horrific stories I think I've heard. About the war, children's body parts, exploding people-- friends at that. Though these concepts seem abstract to us they are so real. Its all politics and policies, interests, land resources, religion...
Now I am writing a paper on war crimes and the US. I talk about war all day in my classes and it drains me. It's fascinating and disgusting. People killing other people and on the scale that we do it i don't get why...

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